13 \\ “My Church Just Doesn’t Understand Domestic Abuse!”— How Called To Peace Ministries Can Help With Joy Forrest

Hey friends!  We’re glad to be back after a brief hiatus. If you’ve ever been, or are currently in an abusive marriage relationship, but you’ve found that the church you’re part of — the church you love! — just doesn’t understand how an imbalance of power can be used to control, coerce, threaten, humiliate, and harm a married woman, you’re not alone.  In fact, in a recent poll in our Facebook community, 85% of respondents indicated they’d experienced domestic abuse within marriage, and most churches aren't equipped to handle it. Our guest today is a biblical counselor who started a ministry to help women in the midst of domestic abuse, and a unique aspect of the ministry is how they reach out to churches, helping those local fellowships to understand the dynamics of what’s going on, and showing them how they can protect the women and children involved, even if no divorce takes place.  I think you’re going to be very encouraged by today’s episode!   Here are a few of the things we cover in today’s episode: 

• Learn what abuse is!

• Understand how using the term “abuse” can initially be a red flag to church leadership— it’s often better to simply describe what’s happening, so the pastors can recognize the cruelty that’s occurring.

• Hear how abuse within marriage can often result in complex PTSD, and the woman’s stress symptoms and emotional response can end up being counterproductive when she’s trying to get help from her church leadership or pastors.

• Learn how the Power and Control Wheel is a visual that can help explain the dynamics of abuse.

• Hear how Called to Peace has pastors who are willing to go in, talk to local church leaders, and help them navigate these abusive situations.  What Called to Peace finds is that, although not every church “gets it,” 70%-80% of churches are willing to listen to what the liaisons have to say!  In fact, many churches are now reaching out to Called to Peace to help them understand and handle abusive marriage relationships.

• The number one thing the ministry tries to teach churches is that domestic abuse is NOT a marriage problem— it’s a sin problem with an individual.  Bringing in a couple for marriage counseling where one spouse is abusive is like expecting marriage counseling to help in a relationship where the husband is a heroin addict.  

• Realize that Called to Peace can teach women to maintain boundaries and be safe, but ultimately a marriage where there’s abuse cannot survive unless the abuser chooses to acknowledge the sin problem and decides to get the help necessary to change.

 

You can find Called To Peace Ministries at https://www.calledtopeace.org/ 

 

Joy Forrest’s book, Called To Peace, can be purchased here: https://amzn.to/3CcrZ9o

 

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